Valentine's Day Vent

It really shouldn't be this difficult. Why is it so difficult? That's what I want to know. I mean I am probably way too picky (or was) now I know that you need to 'settle' (I suppose) but maybe... I don't EVEN know. But 30, still single, NOTHING on the horizon (that I can see). I always wonder if I'm the problem or if it's God's will. I go back and forth. I'm cool with it if it's God's will--I mean I get impatient but I'm a pro at dealing with impatience by now. But if it's my problem then... what do I do? I can't undo what I didn't (did?) do. It's not like a whole lot of guys were interested anyway. I mean there were a few (I can think of 3, maybe 4)... but maybe I wasn't supposed to marry them... Who even knows? I am happy that I'm not lonely, though, so things like Valentine's Day aren't horrible. In fact I kind of like Valentine's Day. It's all about love anyway, in whatever way you receive it. I mean, what's better than thinking about love all day? Also I'm glad that I don't think I'm a loser because I'm not in a romantic relationship. There are other reasons that make me think I'm a loser (sometimes, like today when I got mad (and, like, really mad) at my brother for the locking the keys in my car while it was running with the spare key IN the car when we were already late for church... yeah) but at least it's not my singleness that makes me feel like a loser! Also I guess there's a lot of things that I'm doing that I most definitely couldn't do if I was married. Ah well.

There I feel better. : )