A Pastor's Heart

About ten years ago I was in an ungodly relationship. In God's mercy, I was saved from this relationship, but coming out of it, I was VERY confused as to how I actually got in such a messy, ungodly relationship. I read Joshua Harris' book I Kissed Dating Goodbye and it opened my eyes to fickleness of being 'in love' and it helped me to understand how important it is for me to involve my parents.

But as I continued to read about courtship and relationships more, I became very legalistic. I made all sorts of rules for how I would act around guys to protect myself and to protect them. I made sure to guard my heart but what I really did was make in impenetrable fortress. I'd made so many mistakes before that I tried to earn God's and other's approval by following all the right rules. Legalism is not just trying to earn your salavation through works. I like how C.J. Mahaney defines it: Legalism is seeking to achieve forgiveness from God, justification before God, and acceptance by God, through our obedience to God.

Over the past year or two, God has really changed my heart. He's helped me understand that through the cross, there's nothing more I need to do to earn His approval. I've also come to understand that God is merciful and He is my Father and my Shepherd. He will guide me. I don't need to erect all sorts of walls and follow all sorts of rules. God will keep me safe. He is generous towards me. Now I'm not saying that I do whatever I want. I still follow what the Bible says and I believe that is imporant to obey the Word.

Over this same past year or two I've rediscovered Joshua Harris through his blog. I'm posting to honor his pastor's heart. There are many men and women who writes books or run parachurch ministries or hold seminars or produce materials for churches. Though many of the principles in the materials are good, some of the applications are not. And sometimes people twist the principles presented in the materials and make their own rules about how the principles should be applied. Such things often lead to legalism.

I appreciate that Joshua Harris has taken the time to assess how his writings and teachings have affected his followers. I like that he tries to correct any errors in application that may arise from his teachings. That is a pastor's heart. Since I'm in the medical field, I compare pastors to physicians. A good physician will study the principles of medicine and then he will apply the medicine to his patients through medications or recommendations. But a good physician must always be assessing his patients and how they respond to his applications. The same must take place with pastors.

A recent post, What I've Learned Since I Kissed Dating Goodbye, on Joshua Harris' blog does just this. The gist of it is this:

I still stand by the message of that book [I Kissed Dating Goodbye] that premature, short-term romantic attachments can be a big distraction from serving God—especially for teenagers. But in the years since I've also seen that a legalistic application of these ideas can be unhelpful, too. One of my main concerns in my church or any other church is that there be no disunity among Christians over issues of dating and courtship. We need to learn to hold our own convictions on this matter with charity. Most importantly we need to make sure that our convictions are shaped by scripture—not culture, church culture or my books.