This testimony was prepared and written for young people. To read my testimony in order click here and scroll to the bottom of the page.
I started college that year and things were going really well. Like I said I was at church all the time and very active in serving in church. I was what people call “on fire for God.” I'd always struggled with feeling ugly and worthless and I was starting to feel more confident in myself. Around this time our youth group became very “passionate”. People started bringing friends to church. One of those friends was 6 years older than me and had a child. I was attracted to him. I became convinced that I loved him and was going to marry him within a very short period of time. I ignored my parent's and pastor's cautions. I actually sat down and had a meeting with my senior pastor and my parents. I started hanging out with this guy a lot. I had never dated anyone before so this was all new to me. He treated me special. He told me he loved me. We even studied the Bible together. I started spending time with him alone. Within a period of just 1-2 months I started doing things with this man that should only be done with my husband. My whole life lust & rebelliousness were lurking in my heart. As soon as I started feeding it, it started to grow rapidly. I had been born with them there like it says in the Psalms--”surely I was sinful at birth”. I was not good. I did everything but have sex with him. And what's more, I wanted to do it. I even initiated it. I desired sin.
Did you know that your heart is deceitful above all things and you can't even understand it?—it is wicked—It says so in Jeremiah 17:9--“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.” David, the Psalmist, after committing adultery and murder says, in Psalm 51:5 “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” The world says “Follow your heart” and “Do what feels good” but that will only lead you astray. Believe me, I know. The Bible also says in James 1:13-16, “When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don't be deceived, my dear brothers.” Some people might say things like, “Wow, Satan really attacked you then!”. But I think Satan just stood with his arms crossed, laughing, “Wow, God you think you can save this one? She is SO stupid and so easily led astray by just silly things. Do you really think you can save her? I didn't even have to lift a finger and off she goes giving herself away. Good luck with her!”. My own lustful & rebellious desire led me to sin in a way that is so damaging. “Surely I was sinful at birth.” The Bible says that sexual sin is especially harmful. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 it says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” Further, I disobeyed my parents by rebelling against their authority in my life. The Bible says in Colossians 3:20 “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. ” In Romans 1:30, disobedience to parents is called “wicked” and listed among things such as envy, strife, and murder. God takes disobeying your parents VERY seriously. My actions during that time in my life shamed God in the way that I let another man who is not my husband use my body and I rebelled against Him by disobeying my parents. Though God has forgiven me and has removed my sins as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103), I regret my behavior to this day.
Part Three
I started college that year and things were going really well. Like I said I was at church all the time and very active in serving in church. I was what people call “on fire for God.” I'd always struggled with feeling ugly and worthless and I was starting to feel more confident in myself. Around this time our youth group became very “passionate”. People started bringing friends to church. One of those friends was 6 years older than me and had a child. I was attracted to him. I became convinced that I loved him and was going to marry him within a very short period of time. I ignored my parent's and pastor's cautions. I actually sat down and had a meeting with my senior pastor and my parents. I started hanging out with this guy a lot. I had never dated anyone before so this was all new to me. He treated me special. He told me he loved me. We even studied the Bible together. I started spending time with him alone. Within a period of just 1-2 months I started doing things with this man that should only be done with my husband. My whole life lust & rebelliousness were lurking in my heart. As soon as I started feeding it, it started to grow rapidly. I had been born with them there like it says in the Psalms--”surely I was sinful at birth”. I was not good. I did everything but have sex with him. And what's more, I wanted to do it. I even initiated it. I desired sin.
Did you know that your heart is deceitful above all things and you can't even understand it?—it is wicked—It says so in Jeremiah 17:9--“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.” David, the Psalmist, after committing adultery and murder says, in Psalm 51:5 “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” The world says “Follow your heart” and “Do what feels good” but that will only lead you astray. Believe me, I know. The Bible also says in James 1:13-16, “When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don't be deceived, my dear brothers.” Some people might say things like, “Wow, Satan really attacked you then!”. But I think Satan just stood with his arms crossed, laughing, “Wow, God you think you can save this one? She is SO stupid and so easily led astray by just silly things. Do you really think you can save her? I didn't even have to lift a finger and off she goes giving herself away. Good luck with her!”. My own lustful & rebellious desire led me to sin in a way that is so damaging. “Surely I was sinful at birth.” The Bible says that sexual sin is especially harmful. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 it says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” Further, I disobeyed my parents by rebelling against their authority in my life. The Bible says in Colossians 3:20 “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. ” In Romans 1:30, disobedience to parents is called “wicked” and listed among things such as envy, strife, and murder. God takes disobeying your parents VERY seriously. My actions during that time in my life shamed God in the way that I let another man who is not my husband use my body and I rebelled against Him by disobeying my parents. Though God has forgiven me and has removed my sins as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103), I regret my behavior to this day.
Part Three
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