Singleness: For Better or For Worse

Several months ago P. John Piper spoke an encouraging message about singleness that had everyone who heard it wondering, "If the blessings of singleness were as he said, then is it right to desire marriage and why would anyone want to?" I'm posting some of the best parts of his response to that question:

"....The objective truths about marriage are primarily God’s design:

1. To display his covenant keeping love between Christ and the church,
2. To sanctify the couple with the peculiar pains and pleasures of marriage,
3. To beget and rear a generation of white-hot worshippers, and
4. And to channel good sexual desire into holy paths and transpose it into worshipful foretastes of heaven’s pleasures.

That is a high calling, but it is only compelling if it meets with internal longings for God that lean strongly into these designs.

The objective truths about singleness are also primarily God’s design:

1. To display the spiritual nature of God’s family that grows from regeneration and faith, not procreation and sex,
2. To sanctify the single with the peculiar pains and pleasures of singleness,
3. To capture more of the single’s life for non-domestic ministry that is so desperately needed in the world,
4. And to magnify the all-satisfying worth of Christ that sustains life-long chastity.

That is a high calling, but it is only compelling if it meets with internal longings for God that lean strongly into these designs.

....

I don’t know which holds out more joys and more hardships..... This would be clear if all [men and women] not only heard the wedding vows, “For better or for worse,” but also heard the same words written over singleness: “For better or for worse.” Marriage may prove to be gloriously happy, or painfully disappointing. Singleness may prove to be gloriously satisfying or painfully disappointing. Only God knows which it will be for you.

So in the end, your heart really matters...."

I'd always felt bad about not being married because a lot of the time people really see it as a status symbol. I wanted the 'next level' marriage status. I'm over the loneliness part of being single. I'm over the longing part of being single. I'm really quite content except of course for the wanting the babies thing--that is the only thing that will get me to tears if I dwell on it.

The thing that helped me to be the most content in my singleness was understanding God's sovereignty. The following quote by Loraine Boettner expressing the thoughts I have about God's sovereignty: "Although the sovereignty of God is universal and absolute, it is not the sovereignty of blind power. It is coupled with infinite wisdom, holiness, and love. And this doctrine, when properly understood, is a most comforting and reassuring one.”

So then, God chooses my state in life based on his infinite wisdom, holiness, and love. Whether He desires me to married or single then it is His will because He is good and He knows what is best. But it's not just that He knows it's best for me, He knows the thing that will bring Him the most glory. So if I can bring Him the most glory by being single then let it be and let me not faint and grow weary and give up. If it's that I can bring him the most glory being married and having children then let it be let me not faint and grow weary and give up. May God be glorified and may His Name be great.