My Testimony Part 3

This testimony was prepared and written for young people. To read my testimony in order click here and scroll to the bottom of the page.


Through a series of events over a period of a year, God graciously helped me to get out of this relationship. I didn't deserve His help but He still helped me. He is SO good. But when I was finally out of the relationship the trouble didn't end. I was left with so much guilt, anger, and confusion. I felt guilty. How could I do such shameful things? I felt angry. How could God let that happen to me?! I felt confused. Why and HOW did all that happen? How awful that I had done these things!! I started reading a lot about relationships and began to understand how feelings cannot be your guide in relationships. I discovered how important it is to have your parents and pastors approve your relationship. I found that you can't just follow your heart. I was learning all kinds of new things about relationships and emotions, but I was still guilty and I was STILL mad. I felt like I couldn't be forgiven and what I'd done was so evil that no one would want me. I felt dirty. I was angry still because I blamed God for all this happening. The Bible says that He is able to keep you and I felt God had let me down? I grumbled. I pouted. I complained. I longed to get married and be truly loved. I was miserable. One day I promised God that if He would get me out of this pit that I dug for myself that I would tell everyone about how He saved me. I prayed that God would help me to be satisfied in Him. Because I had walked down a path of sexual immorality I had a lot of bondage in that area. I thought lustful thoughts. I read lustful things. Lust still consumed my mind. Lust is strong. I had heard a verse several years that always stuck with me--“Endure hardship as discipline”. So, I tried to take everything as a learning experience and find out what God was trying to teach me. And it was good! I learned lots!! I learned things like how important it is to honor my parents. I learned how important it is for a woman to stay under the covering of her parents and felt strongly that I should continue to live with parents (it's also better than throwing money away on rent). I stayed at my job (even though it's hard, even though I worked nights, even though it's stressful) because I felt like God wanted me to stay. I got involved in church again. I started telling my story. God tested me in those areas I had been weak in and showed me that where I am weak, He is strong!


Did you know that God disciplines you?—and that's a good thing!! Listen to this verse from Hebrews 12:5-11 “And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it”. If you are a getting disciplined by the Lord then rejoice because He loves you!! God doesn't want you to stay the same!! He wants to purify His people, to make them more mature, more complete so that they can be more effective!! The Bible says in James 1:2-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”. Trials, discipline, and hardship are all good. Try to see what God is trying to teach you in your hardships. I'm not gonna lie, discipline is no fun while you're in it, but after you learn... it's wonderful!!

Part Four