Turning 30

So, I'll be turning 30 this year and you know what? I'm actually happy about it! I kind of like getting older. I love the perspective I have. I can think back just a couple years and see how much I've grown and it gives me so much hope for the future. It's SO good to know God. I'm so grateful for the growing He does in my life!

I'm also OK with being single. It's definitely not what I want. And the idea of having babies after I turn thirty is NOT ideal to me. But I will have to trust that God knows what He is doing. God is sovereign and His ways are not my ways. Not having my desires fulfilled has really helped to train me to believe that God is always good. It is not natural for me to think that God is good. Mostly I want to complain to God and wonder why He doesn't act. But not getting what I want has forced me to always keep in my mind that GOD IS GOOD. No matter what. All the time.

Now, I don't want anyone to think that it does not matter to me and that I feel nothing and I'm perfectly OK. I still desire to get married and have children. I will never be able to be married and have children before I turn thirty. And that kind of makes me sad. Many of my younger friends are married with children and that makes me sad sometimes too (although my joy for them kind of makes my sadness go away). I may never marry and that makes me sad too. But this life is not what it's all about. And, in light of eternity, marriage is only momentary.